Saturday, June 18, 2011

Chim Chim Cheroo

I'm not alone in my endeavors. I have my partner and friend Kobold. He's a burly kind of guy, military-style buzz-cut, the whole deal. I didn't take him originally, but I did save him from near-death. Bandaged some harsh gashes and won his eternal loyalty, the poor guy. He's one of the full-blown, hollowed-out servants to the Boss. But he's a nice man. Gentle when he needs to be. Loves animals. And not afraid to twist their necks! Perfect assistant, really, all in all.

I have something of an affinity for chimneys. They're often one of the easiest ways to get into a house. Santa Claus had the right idea. Sometimes it's one of the easiest ways to get out of a house, too. I use chimneys almost as often as I use rope. Have Kobold stand up top and hold a knotted rope tight so I can get out quick. I'm plenty skinny enough for it.

Anyway, I've got some work-related news. Her name was Amy Watson. Her kid died some weeks ago in a car crash, and the father started drinking and deserted her. Perfect target. Depressed, lost, and no family. Nothing to regret. No bad feelings about it.

Friday, June 10, 2011


Rope. Rope is a fun thing. Rope is for tying or trapping or luring or napping. I'm serious. A good bit of rope can make a nice pillow. And when push comes to shove, it's not a bad way to...dispose of things. I've got at least three different types of ropes that I can reach right now, all for very different things. There's my tying rope, my bungie cord, and my grappling hook, one of my personal favorites. Oh, man. Rope. You might laugh or scorn me, but Jack had the right idea. Rope. Great stuff. Try it out sometime.

Sunday, June 5, 2011


This is what I do, and I do it all the time. Do you?

Boss has got to get recruits from somewhere, and that's where I come in. I get 'em for Him. Easy as pie. Especially the little ones. They want to come. And the big ones come anyway 'cause they're so depressed, they have nothing better to do.

Hi, I'm Candle. How are you? How're the kids? What's that? You say they're missing? Heh. Could've been me. Sorry. Ciao.